Motetus, Mammoth Rider

eames asked: What superpower would you like to have?

Well, it may be a completely unimaginative one to come up with, but - mind control. Just think about it: "Why yes, examiners, this sheet of paper with a drawing of pigs having a tea party on it absolutely is the best PhD thesis you've ever seen, thank you very much for the pass! You, extremely wealthy person, hire me at once for a job where I do nothing but sit around in my pyjamas and draw fanart and get paid obscene amounts of money. You there, fetch me a cup of tea and a nice biscuit. You lot, take this rope, hunt down Tom Hardy and bring him back to me all trussed up. Another cup of tea! Ah, Mr Hardy, I do hope the rope burns aren't too painful. Now, put on this hot pink lingerie and go clean my kitchen. MORE TEA."

See? I don't know why anyone would pick wings or shapeshifting or the ability to control fire over something like that.


I am slowly working my way through Yuletide (and am finally over my disappointment that no-one wrote any Gus/Jack fic for the Dark Matter request, boo), so here are a few recs!


What Happens in Hull (2,475 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: The IT Crowd
Rating: Teen and up
Warnings: None
Relationships: Douglas Reynholm/April
Characters: April, Douglas Reynholm, Jen Barber, Maurice Moss, Roy Trenneman
Additional Tags: French people, Actual Paris, Spiritual quest, Tesco - every little helps, Party supplies, Douglas tries
Summary: Douglas wants April back, and he'll have to take a long hard look at himself first.

Fanfic for comedies rarely works for me, because even when the author gets pretty close to the humour of the show, without the actors it never feels quite as funny. But Douglas Reynholm's voice in this is so utterly spot on that I was howling with laughter throughout, although the story about Douglas learning to be a (very slightly) better person for April was actually rather sweet. Visually it's brilliant - there are some rather adorable dividers, and also a magnificent drawing of a horse at the end. A HORSE WITH BREASTS.


The Sweet Science (2,174 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: Warrior (2011)
Rating: Teen and up
Warnings: None
Characters: Frank Campana, Brendan Conlon
Additional Tags: Coming Out, Backstory
Summary: Pre-movie. Some things Brendan knows in his blood, and some things Frank has to teach him.

I love how Frank is written in this, and the banter and drunken flirting between him and Brendan is rather adorable, and then rather achy when the flirting leads to a kiss and a fair bit of awkwardness. Aww, poor Frank. :( I also really liked how the author handled Brendan's response - having him acknowledge that maybe, maybe if things were different he could consider it, but he's so in love with Tess, his lifeline, that he won't ever let himself do that.


hoc, iucunde, tibi poema feci (1,020 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: The Borgias
Rating: Teen and up
Warnings: None
Characters: Micheletto, Cesare Borgia
Summary: “Does the poet express himself, or does he fashion himself to fit the poetry?”

A really beautiful and thoughtful little story (by someone who I'm 100% sure is my favourite writer in the fandom) where Micheletto and Cesare discuss poetry. And that's it, but there's so much just beneath their conversation, and the character voices are absolutely perfect.

Before I get onto today's meme question, I have one for you, lovely flist. I'm finally getting started on the epic EOT9 Quaint English Tearoom AU idea I've had languishing in a corner of my brain for ages, and I could really do with someone still in the fandom to bounce ideas off, send rough sketches to, and figure out all sorts of ridiculous ways to incorporate things from the book (and maybe a little bit of film stuff, but I want this to be mostly book-verse) because I may be drawing a quaint English version of the ubiquitous Coffeeshop AU, but dammit, this is not going to be Any Two Guys Gen fanart! I'm not so much looking for an art beta (just yet), more someone who will help me figure out how to do things like come up with modern-day looks for Dergadian and Liathan or help me figure out how to draw book-verse Esca (SO stuck on this) and also endure a lot of talk about tearoom decorations and how to subtly Romanise. So if you fancy me pestering you for the next few months, please do let me know!


bunn asked: Talk about Father Ted! Do you draw anything Teddish or is it more of a distant love from Far Away?

CHAIR! CURTAINS! FLOOR! GOBSHITE!

...no wait, I mean FATHER TED, LOVE OF MY LIFE. I have seen all the episodes a million times and if I ever catch it on TV I will probably stop whatever I am doing and watch it all, because the humour never, ever gets old. You don't have to be Catholic to enjoy it (but it doesn't hurt), and even my dear late hardcore Catholic grandmother who took religion Very Seriously (she had an alter in the middle of the living room) thought it was extremely funny. I'm not sure if I really have a favourite episode, but I think some of the best ones were in the third series. Speed 3 was utterly brilliant... but then so was Escape from Victory with the old priests and the football match and Mrs Doyle learning how to love football! Oh, but I also adore the episode where Ted is (not) a racist because of that brilliant ending, and the Hell episode where Ted and Dougal go on a caravan holiday is also pretty hysterical. These cows are very small; those cows are far away! Mrs Doyle is totally my favourite character, because I want her to live with me and constantly make me tea and sandwiches. Not that I don't enjoy the task of tea-making myself! When I lived with my fellow tea-loving uni flatmates (also big Ted fans), cries of MAYBE I LIKE THE MISERY were often heard while the kettle was boiling.

I have never drawn anything Teddish, alas. It's one of those things I love that I'll probably never draw anything for unless someone comes up to me and deposits a delicious fat squirmy idea into my lap that I fall in love with immediately. Mind you, last year I saw a request for Father Ted/Father Dick Byrne on fandom_stocking and immediately the pairing was sold to me (although I still don't have any ideas for fanart). I mean, think about it - Ted and Dick are pretty much the same person and Ted does have a slightly inflated opinion of himself, so I don't see what's really standing in their way, apart from a huge, seething hatred of each other. It would be beautiful hatesex, though.

beili asked: What was your favourite book (maybe several books) as a child? Did it remain your favourite, when you grew up?

My parents tell me that the first book I was really into was Dr Seuss's The Cat in the Hat, and I'd demand to be read it every single night until they had fantasies of beating the good doctor to death with his own books. After that... hm, even though I read a huge amount as a child and always had people telling me to get my nose out of a book and interact with the real world, I cannot actually remember much about what I read! I loved the Roald Dahl books, of course (The Twits was my favourite, and I was actually a little disappointed that Mr and Mrs Twit got shrunk away to nothing because they were just such a hilariously awful couple and thus far more entertaining than the boring monkeys), and I had a couple of Shel Silverstein books that I read a lot - Where the Sidewalk Ends and The Giving Tree, though the latter sort of annoyed me. That stupid doormat tree. Now I think of that, and how I hated Captain Planet for its preachy tones and sided with the evil tree-destroying companies, and also how I disliked Han Solo for stealing Princess Leia when she totally should have ended up with Luke and yes, I knew they were brother and sister... maybe I was a bit of a strange child?

When I was about 7, my father started reading The Hobbit to my brother and I, except I got impatient and wanted more than a chapter a night, so I read it all myself in a very short time. I loved it to bits, but now when I try to reread it, I'm irritated by what feels like a slightly patronising tone. :/ I suppose the last book I read as a young teenager that had a huge effect on me was Philip Pullman's Northern Lights - I loved Lyra dearly and read it hundreds of times (I even named a hamster after her daemon), but got progressively disappointed by the rest of the trilogy. And let's not even mention the movie.

The Cat in the Hat is still fucking gold, though.

- - -

I have had some lovely, lovely cards arrive! Thank you very much to bauble, osprey_archer (dammit osprey_archer, now you have me googling plum pudding recipes... huh, they don't even have any plums in them?) tracy7307, fififolle and the_little_owl for their beautiful cards, they have made my living room look very Christmassy indeed. I have to share the one by the_little_owl (hopefully she has a better scan to put up but until then, excuse the fingers) because it is BRILLIANT - I asked for hapless scientist Obi-Wan and she gave me just that, but with a Christmas theme and Hippy Qui-Gon! Thank you, Owl, I am still cackling at it.



( The results of Obi-Wan's experiments )

osprey_archer asked: Tell me about the place you most want to visit!

Oh, now this is an evil one. I have many, many places I'd like to visit! I've never been to anywhere in Africa (well, nowhere outside Marrakesh) or South America, and even though I've spent some time living and travelling around South-East Asia there are still so many places left there to see (and more importantly, food to eat). And I've love to go somewhere like Greenland, somewhere with ice and whales and whatnot, but I haven't put much thought into this last one, just watched a few too many documentaries with a sexy, soothing, David Attenborough voiceover.

I suppose if you handed me a lot of money and told me to pick just one place though, I would say... Mongolia. I think the landscape there is stunningly beautiful and I could happily spend a few weeks just gawping at it. On a pony, because I am lazy and also, pony! I want to ride my pony around the steppes and pretend I am Genghis Khan, only without the army and the slaughter and the rest of it. I would like to turn these idle thoughts into reality some day but as I have a huge hatred of big tour groups and being herded around at someone else's pace, the kind of holiday there that I'd prefer will probably take a few more years for us to save up for and plan. But I will get there eventually, because man, look at this place.



( Question masterlist - still plenty of un-questioned days left! )