STFU brain

[motetus]

1. Screw you LJ, I was writing this huge post all sodding day and then you eat it right when I'm about to hit post.


2. If I write down some of the stupid ideas I have rattling around my head, do you think they will leave me alone for a while so I can concentrate on doing sensible adult things like going to work and remembering to cook dinner before midnight? Probably not.

(anyone caught encouraging these will receive a good spanking)

Fecking Eagle stuff first:

Hibernia face-painting illustration. carmarthen has discovered that the way to get me to draw something is to simply tell me to, for I am as biddable as Marcus in the bedroom. Getting the two very different types of lighting (fire/moonlight) correct is going to be HARD, but at least I can hide all the tricky background stuff in darkness. And I can finally put my giant costume history book to use, for it has lots of super illustrations of Celtic clothing. *dances*

Happy gay (modern) farmers part II. S is for Sith Academy convinced me that I can just about draw interior perspective and clutter, so I'm thinking of a kitchen scene full of shameless farming stereotypes with an Aga, a cat on the Aga, Kath Kidston teatowels and old battered inherited Le Cruset pots (yes there may be some fantasy-fulfilment going on here, but in my defence I didn't come up with half of that list). And Marcus making tea and trying to be affectionate while Esca's all "piss off Marcus, can't you see I'm trying to read my Classic Tractor magazine?" Um, I may be a little in love with this AU.

Centurion Marcus. I just really want an excuse to draw Marcus in that gorgeous armour, because I've had a Roman uniform kink since I was 6 years old thanks to Asterix (seriously. I even had a crush on the crocodile from Fantasia because he had a swishy red cloak and then he took it off and I was SAD) and I really want to paint a big epic landscape with Marcus gazing into the distance with his cloak billowing around him and thinking YES I AM A MAGNIFICENT MANLY ROMAN. If I can work in Esca somehow, even better, though I might have to poke sineala until she lets me illustrate her Army AU for that to make sense. I think I'll put this on the back burner for the moment while I sort out exactly what I want to do with it, and in the meantime I'll doodle Roman armour at work and claim they're preliminary sketches.

Marcus being ruled by Esca's thighs. She who is responsible for this knows who she is. Stupid Alexander/Hephaestion comment. At 3am this morning I came up with an picture in my head that would suit this, and it's also the reason why my performance in our 9am lab meeting went along the lines of "Uhh... this week I'm doing... something with proteins? I think? Btw, what's a protein again?" So, the idea was Esca all sprawled out and Marcus curled up between his glorious thighs, worshipping them as he should. Might be revised depending on whether I can find the anatomy references I'll need - while I'm getting better at not having to rely so much on references, the amount of nudity I have planned means I probably shouldn't try pulling it all out of my head unaided.

Biology PhD students!Esca/Marcus AU. I swear to Mithras I have not been looking around my lab for places/equipment they could do hot, sweaty things against. I SWEAR.

Something gen with Uncle Aquila and Stephanos, because I may be a little in love with these two. Latrunculi?

Also. I am a little smitten with with this photo and want to do something similar. Problem is, the setting is too similar to the current cuddling painting, so either I wait a few months or I use it in another fandom. Dunno what, though.

This fandom, WHAT IS IT DOING TO ME? It's a really good thing that all the prompts on the kink meme that interest me have been filled already, or this list would be even longer. Okay okay, here are some non-Eagle things:

Padme/Breha for the alphabet challenge prompt W. Those naughty girlies again, this time rolling around in bed half-naked. I kinda want to give them big fancy hairdos, or at least half-undone big fancy hairdos, but I doubt that would make for comfortable sleeping. But then again, Padme's nightdress in ROTS was that ridiculous blue thing with strings of pearls along the arms, and that couldn't have been comfy either. Maybe she's used to it.

Mark Antony/Lucius Vorenus. I have no idea where this came from, but I really want to draw lecherous!Antony (uh, is there any other kind?) eyeing up poor Vorenus (in his lovely armour that he gets after being made Evocati, because did I mention the uniform kink?) with a smirk on his face, and Vorenus is looking very worried. It's rather sad that that out of all the things I could do with these two (I mean, I love Vorenus and Pullo as much as the next person, but I have such a hard time buying them having a more-than-brotherly-love relationship because Vorenus is just so damn Roman. Vorenus/Antony however - Antony is much more depraved and has more power over Vorenus than Pullo does so yes, I could see that. Um, this parenthesis is getting awfully long) I pick something so tame and family-friendly. Hm, Antony in toga, Antony in uniform, or Antony in Egyptian clothing and eyeliner?

URGH. And the second I complete one of these, another dozen will spring up to take its place. I suppose I don't really need that masters anyway.


3. The state of the WIPs.

Qui-Gon/Tahl. Looking awesome, even if I do say so myself. If I can convert just one person to Tahl or carrots, I will be a happy girl. With the exception of two hands, most of the hard stuff is done and I just need to tidy up the bodies and paint the vegetables. Hopefully I should get this finished some time next week.

Sappy Esca/Marcus cuddling. FINALLY got Marcus's face looking how it should - he's a bit less handsome now but that is all Channing Tatum's fault, not mine. Now watch me attempt to paint all those blanket folds without having a brain haemorrhage.

Nekkid Morgana. This stalled at the initial colour blocking stage - I'll probably return to it once one of the above are finished. The deadline isn't until August so I'm going to take my time with it.


4. Barely in time, but happy MMoM!

Bet you thought I'd forgotten, swcajolings. Perhaps next year I will be a little more organised and offer you something more than a 5-minute photo study.

Comments

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

UGH I LOVE ALL OF THESE IDEAS.

I mostly vote for Antony/Vorenus though, because of my love for both those actors. Puresex!

[motetus.livejournal.com]

That Antony/Vorenus has been stuck in my head for weeks now, so I guess it'll be getting drawn eventually. Eventually. WHY DO I NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME? :(

Oh god yes, I have SO much love for both of them. Purefoy/Antony isn't the most handsome of men, but there's something about him that makes him the guy who could get my knickers off the fastest. And he'd be a terrible boyfriend, but damn would the sex be good.

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

Inorite? He is just sex on two legs.

Have you seen Bedrooms and Hallways? That kiss between him and McKidd is one of the hottest things I've ever seen.

And in Vanity Fair in his Napoleonic Sex Boots! dsfjsldkjaljd

[motetus.livejournal.com]

WAIT, WAIT, WHAT? Omg, how the hell have I avoided watching this until now? I knew Kevin McKidd was in it but I didn't know it also had James in it too. You star, you utter star. THANK YOU.

My brain may just explode even before it finishes downloading.

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

Oh dude, I am so jealous that you get to watch it for the first time. ENJOY! I love so many things about that movie.

(And I can't wait for all the art this will surely inspire *evil grin*)

[the-little-owl.livejournal.com]

And that from the lady who recently ranted about chicken giblets? LOL. That's progress if I ever saw one!

[motetus.livejournal.com]

There's hope for me! Maybe I just need to collect a lot of *nice* images of penises and I'll get over them.

[splix.livejournal.com]

Ooh, Antony in his Egyptian debauchery would be so perfect for a lecherous eyeing-up-and-down of Vorenus. :D

[motetus.livejournal.com]

Okay, Egyptian debauchery it is! And that way I can make the background all nice and purty with those lovely palace decorations.

...why do I always get excited about the least sexy parts?

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

HEY DECOR IS TOTALLY SEXY.

[ainsoph15.livejournal.com]

COOOOOOCK :D and excuse me, 5 min study? OMG *impressed*

HNNNNNGH, I am SO EXCITED by your ideas list. Add me to the pile of people who go all swoony over Roman uniforms. Most other uniforms - meh - but holy shit, Roman uniforms are the superkinkiest of them all. And, ha ha, I think I picked up that kink from Asterix too. (Plus my love of small, feisty men, apparently *g*)

AND WHAT IS THAT I SEE ON YOUR LIST??? MORE HGF!VERSE? Jesus suffering fuck, woman, I'm going to have to start actually thinking about this story, aren't I *weeps* I cannot resist Esca reading Classic Tractor while pretending to be all curmudgeonly and secretly ogling Marcus's arse while he makes the tea and puts home-made blackberry jam on the still-warm scones that have just come fresh out of the aga. Fine, okay, I will follow my usual course of action when it comes to writing - think up the sex, then work backwards and fill in the UST leading up to it with some sort of plot. The actual plot, though, could take some time... Also, I think it will need to come with some sort of warning that it requires a sick bag while reading in case of nauseating amounts of cuteness ♥ There is also the likelihood that no actual farming will occur in this story.

Um, oh god, Kevin McKidd was sort of my neighbour for a few years - he lived on the same street as me. Not long after we'd move in there, my flatmate came home from the shops and threw the door open, bellowing, 'LUCIUS VORENUS IS IN SAINSBURYS!' He is quite unexpectedly smiley in real life *g*

As I said to carmarthen yesterday - IN CONCLUSION: ESCA'S THIGHS.

[sineala.livejournal.com]

ARE YOU WRITING GAY FARMERS? I SUPPORT THIS.

Um. Hi.

[ainsoph15.livejournal.com]

JFC, dude, I am literally sitting here rolling a cigarette and thinking - HOW THE FUCK DO I WRITE THIS, AAAARGH. WHAT IS PLOT. WILL THERE BE SEMI-IRONIC BARN-DANCING. WHERE IS THAT FARMING FORUM WEBSITE LINK I FOUND THE OTHER WEEK. ESCA TOTALLY WEARS OLD-SKOOL BARBOUR AND MARCUS WEARS HI-TECH NORTH FACE, Y/N.

Because yes, I want to write this. I want to write it soooo baaaaad X-O

[sineala.livejournal.com]

OH GOOD.

WRITE ALL THE THINGS? :)

[ainsoph15.livejournal.com]

*weeps*

Conabor, dude, conabor. The power of the tiny lambs compels me ♥

[motetus.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE HELPLESS BEFORE ITS MIGHTY FIC-INDUCING CUTENESS.

[ainsoph15.livejournal.com]

PLOTLAMMBY, I QUAKE BEFORE YOUR ADORABLENESS, AND YOUR STARE OF... omfg, I want to cuddle it. Or eat it. I don't know, I am so conflicted ;__;

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

BUT PIA FIDELIS. SATURNALIA PRINCEPS HAT. ♥_♥

[ainsoph15.livejournal.com]

Shh, bb, it's okay. I'm SPAG checking it right now ♥

(And Esca does wear something else instead of his pileus. It is much more better - at least, I think so *g*)

OH GOD, ZOE, I AM SORRY FOR HIJACKING YOUR POST

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

AHHHHH. *refreshes maniacally*

I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT ESCA WEARS. EEEE.

[motetus.livejournal.com]

Yes, how dare you barge in here and start discussing wonderful fic ideas. HOW DARE YOU.

[augustbird.livejournal.com]

can i join the chorus of enablers because this is completely and utterly relevant to my interests? :D :D :D

[motetus.livejournal.com]

WHAT. YOU HAD KEVIN MCKIDD AS A NEIGHBOUR AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO KIDNAP HIM AND KEEP HIM AS A PET??

...I could not be more disappointed in you if I tried. But now I am having a giggling fit imagining Lucius Vorenus in full Centurion gear doing his weekly grocery shop and getting angry with the self-service checkout.

Dude, don't even think about trying to blame me for making you write happy gay farmers. YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON BOTH OF US. AND IT IS WONDERFUL. Srsly, just the idea of you writing it is making me incoherent with joy. WRITE IT. FUCK PLOT. WHO NEEDS PLOT WHEN YOU CAN HAVE ESCA SHAGGING MARCUS IN THEIR OLD LAND ROVER. (okay, plot is also awesome and should not be ignored. BUT. LAND ROVER SEX)

[ainsoph15.livejournal.com]

I AM SORRY. HIS WIFE AND KIDS WOULD PROBABLY HAVE PROTESTED LOUDLY AND TRIED TO HIT ME. Sadly, he never wore his sexy armour in Sainsburys. I was disappoint. Also, it took me by surprise the first time I heard him speaking and I was all, 'OMG, SCOTTISH' *swoon*

I AM BLAMING YOU, ZOE. THIS IS ME, BLAMING YOU. ESPECIALLY FOR THE LAND ROVER SEX IDEA. STOP BEING AWESOME. EXCEPT DON'T STOP BEING AWESOME. God, okay, look, I am thrashing out the last couple of hundred words for the next PF update, then I will think about this terrible, adorable beast of a thing ♥

[motetus.livejournal.com]

I would imagine that land rover sex would involve Marcus banging his head against the roof, the handbrake digging into tender areas, and bits of lint and dog hair ending up in their underwear. And they would love every second of it.

Less-than-perfect-sex kink, I has it.

YAAAAY, MORE PIA FIDELIS! You have no idea how hard it is for me to not be a nagging bitch and demand that you cut down on those frivolous wasteful things like sleeping so you write faster.

[sineala.livejournal.com]

Seconding linaerys -- if you like Antony/Vorenus, you absolutely have to see Bedrooms And Hallways now now now now.

Also, um, I am happy to help facilitate Centurion Marcus, if such is needed. He is actually not spending much time in armor (and when he does it will probably be lorica hamata -- the mail-shirt kind -- which may not be the Armor of Your Dreams) in the army AU, but I promise there will be two (2) awesome sexy armor scenes. Neither of which I have written yet. Sigh. (Well, there will definitely be one; the other is dependent on whether I can make armor removal sexy.) I really have to finish this story.

[motetus.livejournal.com]

I have a copy now! I'll watch it tomorrow night and will probably make all sorts of stupid squeaking sounds and my poor husband will probably lock himself in the bathroom to get away from me.

Oh, I'm not too fussed about what what kind of armour he's wearing, though if I did decide I had my heart set on painting lorica segmenta I could do another painting for that (shit. They're breeding). Either way I may come running to you to check things. Like (and this is more for my own curiosity rather than research... for the moment) the auxiliary soldiers - I know their accessories could be a bit more specialised depending on where they came from (or so my book tells me), but would say, a Briton wear armour similar to that of a legionary or something quite different? I'm assuming if it was similar the quality wouldn't be as good because of the lower pay? Uh, sorry for suddenly dumping those questions on you!

...awesome sexy armour scenes. OH MY. I AM EXCITED. :D

[sineala.livejournal.com]

As far as I have determined, though I welcome corrections: soldiers in the actual legions, at least by the time the Eagle is set, wore lorica segmentata (also called laminata, but both of these names are modern -- we don't know what the Romans called it), and there is a fair amount of visual evidence (e.g., Trajan's Column) of this. In the east, they may also have worn lorica hamata, because it is way more comfortable in the heat. (Hamata is also what everyone wore before they invented segmentata, and apparently centurions wore hamata anyway? IDK, this site says so (http://www.larp.com/legioxx/orgoff.html#centurion).)

The auxiliaries typically wore either squamata or hamata, and yeah, they did add decorations/various armor bits from their own region, so possibly they would be distinguishable visually from a legionary assuming they did dress up with some local gear and the legionary wasn't in hamata. I don't know anything about quality, sorry.

I figure I had better add sexy armor scenes somewhere eventually. They spend, like, zero time in armor in this story. :P

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

Trajan's column also suggests that units were distinguishable by shield designs. And possibly auxiliaries didn't use the curved rectangular ones.

It's arguable that auxiliary armor was actually better by that period because they weren't wearing segmentata, but it varied a lot according to what the individual soldier could afford (of course, good quality and bad quality helmets probably look similar to a casual observer. Rome didn't skimp too much on the equipment.

[poziomeczka.livejournal.com]

I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR ARTISTIC PLANS

AND HELLO THAR PEEN.

[motetus.livejournal.com]

MY ARTISTIC PLANS ARE EVIL AND ARE TAKING OVER MY LIFE. :(

COCK! Actually, I usually hate drawing penises. But this one was almost pretty. If I can draw them looking like this more often, I might change my mind about them.

[poziomeczka.livejournal.com]

DUDE MY PORNY PLANS ARE TAKING OVER MY LIFE. :( BUT AT LEAST YER PLANS ARE WORTHY.

hahahahhaha that sentence. i could frame that sentence. or well, sentences.

This icon has your crocodile in it!

[pronker]

shameless farming stereotypes with an Aga, a cat on the Aga, Kath Kidston teatowels and old battered inherited Le Cruset pots

I shall not google these things and await your illustration of them.

I am very happy with the NSFW drawing.

Re: This icon has your crocodile in it!

[motetus.livejournal.com]

OMG it is, it is! Oh, all those feelings I had for him have suddenly returned! Gosh, he's still hot.

I shall not google these things and await your illustration of them.

Hahaha, I suppose they are typical middle-class British items, so I don't blame you for not knowing what they are. But Le Cruset pots are AMAZING (I'm building up a collection in teal) and though pricey, you could probably easily beat a man to death with a few blows and not even chip the enamel.

[swcajolings.livejournal.com]

Woohoo! I too have been negligent of MMoM. i'll probably put my thing up anyway and somehow shoehorn it into my Alphabet Challenge.

You MUST do Padme/Breha in all their glory, big hair and nonsensical outfits and all. You can't have Star Wars prequel women unless they don't make sense. It's in the UN declaration of human rights (ok that's in poor taste, but my point still stands).

[motetus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, like either of us have ever worried about being in poor taste.

BIG MAGNIFICENT HAIR! No-one will have a clue who they are if I don't give them crazy intricate hairstyles, anyway.

[swcajolings.livejournal.com]

Ok ok idea. I know it doesn't fit in the timeline, but hey, Padme in Amidala-mode and nekkid Breha covered in smears of facepaint. You cannot deny the awesome.

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

carmarthen has discovered that the way to get me to draw something is to simply tell me to, for I am as biddable as Marcus in the bedroom. Getting the two very different types of lighting (fire/moonlight) correct is going to be HARD, but at least I can hide all the tricky background stuff in darkness. And I can finally put my giant costume history book to use, for it has lots of super illustrations of Celtic clothing. *dances*

ILUUUUUUUU. And hey, they're only really wearing pants in that scene? Mmm, shirtlessness. And tattoo. And paaaaaaaint.

If I can work in Esca somehow, even better, though I might have to poke sineala until she lets me illustrate her Army AU for that to make sense.

OH PLEASE. UNIFORM MAKEOUTS.

So, the idea was Esca all sprawled out and Marcus curled up between his glorious thighs, worshipping them as he should. Might be revised depending on whether I can find the anatomy references I'll need - while I'm getting better at not having to rely so much on references, the amount of nudity I have planned means I probably shouldn't try pulling it all out of my head unaided.

YOU ARE THE BEST.

Biology PhD students!Esca/Marcus AU. I swear to Mithras I have not been looking around my lab for places/equipment they could do hot, sweaty things against. I SWEAR.

JOY.

Something gen with Uncle Aquila and Stephanos, because I may be a little in love with these two. Latrunculi?

OMG, that would be awesome, especially if Stephanos is a little long-suffering and Uncle A. is all ~excited~ because he's winning!

Antony in Egyptian clothing and eyeliner?

Ngggggg.

Woah, surprise!cock.

[motetus.livejournal.com]

You dastardly enabler, you. I don't know how I'm going to get all these done. *cries*

I am rather glad they're only wearing pants because yikes, did the celts/gauls have appalling fashion sense, at least with colours (or maybe this illustrator did). Pink, purple and blue/white stripes really don't go together, guys.

My Stephanos-muse is crying. Shut it, Stephanos-muse, you're playing it whether you like it or not.

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

I am rather glad they're only wearing pants because yikes, did the celts/gauls have appalling fashion sense, at least with colours (or maybe this illustrator did). Pink, purple and blue/white stripes really don't go together, guys.

They had pretty awful color senses (well, by modern standards: I have been doing historical costuming long enough that I am all COLORS? THEY GO TOGETHER!), but I don't think pink, purple, or stripes played a big role (uh, stripes, really? That makes me a bit suspicious of your book--what book is it? IDK about stripes). Really, if you put them in tight pants and maybe one of them has checkered pants for visual contrast (probably Esca), you're good to go. :-P

The Thorsbjorg trousers are pretty much our best guess on possible cut (feet aside), even though they're Danish, and the Roman statues of defeated Gauls show very very tight pants (in reality, there probably had to be more ease in the crotch, but that look is not so good when one takes the tunic off; def. tight through the legs, though). And I don't think I specified colors, so whatever (I tend to think of them as wearing assorted combinations of red/blue/yellow/green/brown, mostly, and Marcus probably prefers drabber colors than Esca).

My Stephanos-muse is crying. Shut it, Stephanos-muse, you're playing it whether you like it or not.

Poor Stephanos. Maybe he secretly likes it but just wishes Aquila didn't crow when he wins. Or he could win all smugly and Uncle A. could be all disappointed with himself! That's good, too.

[motetus.livejournal.com]

Noooo, I have my doubts about the accuracy of some of the illustrations too, and purple dye I believe was quite rare and highly prized back then so I don't think a random Gaulish warrior is going to be sporting leggings in that colour. It's actually quite a decent book (Racinet's The Costume History) but it was drawn in 1881 and so some sections feel slightly racist. I don't think I'll be using it for reference anyway as their outfits aren't tricky to picture.

And if you think blue/white stripes are bad, the guy below him looks like he's wearing pajamas with very slimming vertical stripes. And a massive fur hat. Very fetching.

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

Argh, that purple dye thing is one of my least favorite things! Um. Tyrian purple (from dead sea molluscs) was expensive and a big status thing. On the other hand, anyone can overdye blue and red and get purple, and you can also get purple/fuschia from orchil lichens, although it fades PDQ to pink.

It's more of an aesthetic thing. (And red dye at the time in Europe = mostly madder, which tends towards orange and is one of the trickier dyes to work with. So red-oranges for a random Gaulish warrior, sure, nice purples, less likely.)

One note on the braccae: all contemporary depictions show them narrow to the ankle, but NOT cross-gartered or loose at the ankle with a tie, as a lot of modern artists like to depict Celtic trousers (I blame Asterix, maybe).

[augustbird.livejournal.com]

LAKSJFALSDKLASLKDFAKLAKLKLASKLFAKDSF

EVERYTHING YOU REFERENCED ABOUT YOUR EAGLE PROJECTS, BUT THE WILDEST FLAILING IS IN RESPONSE TO PHD!MARCUS&ESCA

OMG OMG OMG

HYPERVENTILATING

[motetus.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh, I'm really going to have to do this, aren't I? YOU TOO THEN, MISSY. WRITE.

...I don't even know what the hell they're doing in the lab. Better make it smutty.

[augustbird.livejournal.com]

IDK WHAT'S HAPPENING BUT THERE IS GRAD STUDENT AU BEING WRITTEN

ALSO CARMARTHEN ADDED STRIP!CHESS (OR AT LEAST STRIP!SOME GAME) INTO THIS FIC. NOT SURE HOW THAT HAPPENED

WTF HOW AM I SO EASILY ENABLED?